Happy Bday Gorgeous!

Dear Jaykie,

There are 2 reasons why I decided to write you a birthday post on my blog. First, I guess you didn't read my letter last year so I thought sending you the link 2 days earlier might be a good idea. Second, you're not spending your birthday in Berlin, but a city/small town pretty far away, and I can't wish you all the best in person. :(

I decided to start off with a poem. The original version was written in Polish so the translation may not reflect the real meaning... It means much to me.

When my hope is gone
and I'm on my own,
you come and make me feel better.
You make me believe in myself again,
in what I do, everything gets back.
You give me strength.
You give me hope for better tomorrow,
and not only.
You give me self-assurance to be still myself.
To get up after I fall and get back up again.
You are my platonic love,
probably the strongest of all.
You just give me a piece of you.
And in return, I'll keep you in my heart forever.




And now I would like to thank you for everything you've done! It's been 19 months since I know you; and with all that time my life keeps getting better, day by day. You came into my life by accident, but have stayed for a reason. You and VFC really helped me get through tough times, you have no idea how much I needed something to hold onto. Meeting you guys in person... Gahhh! That's definitely one of the most beautiful memories! :)

Anyway, hope you're going to spend your day with beloved people, even though your family and other friends are far away. Don't change yourself, you know I love the way you are, stay strong and never give up! I believe in you... Have a blast and party haarrrdd! ;)

Looking forward to seeing you again soon!

Love, Pauline

Ayyooo!!!

Jeez! I havent been here for ages! I guess it was because of college... But anyways I'm back and would like to post more often! If someone reads that...^^

Blue is back!!!

I know, I know that everyone already knows that but I just wanted to make a new post.

When Blue was on top I was like 12 years old and with my girlfriends were so excited every time their music videos were on tv! haha pretty crazy when I look back. :) For me, Blue were better than BSB. I mean, I liked BSB but not as crazy as Blue :D Time flew, they split up and I grew up. I didn't stop listening to boybands. There have always been some boybands worth wasting time. ;) Sometimes when I was at McDonald's they played "One Love" and I was in heaven after years... I was sitting being SO excited and my friends were like they didn't hear the song before... So now, when I found out they're back I WAS MORE EXCITED, if it's even possible... hahaha. I'm sorry but I'm JUST a girl and even though I'm 10 years older I still act like a crazy fan girl. Now I'm wishing for a show in my shitty country and if not, I'll try to get to any in other countries. And if I get a chance to meet them in person, I'll try not to pee my pants! hahaha

and for now, I wish them lots of luck and hope they win Eurovision this year!

xoxo, C

Have you ever?

Have you ever felt you can't live without someone but when they're gone you feel better?
I have. I used to tell myself I couldn't live without someone, and really, couldn't imagine my live without them. During last 2 years, I've lost them... No, they didn't die; sometimes I wish they did. It's hard to believe how much they've changed, and left me even though they made me certain they would never do. And as we see, I'm still alive and doing pretty fucking good. That's why I stopped thinking what was the reason and left it behind me; seems they weren't meant to stay in my live...
There was one special person who was everything to me. I used to say: nothing's gonna change my love for you. I would never think it was you who would make me forget about you. That's surprising. Just few days, at the start, were horrible but then I got to know someone else who made me feel much better.
Now when I look at the past, I can't believe how much I've changed, yet I'm really happy and don't regret anything I've done or haven't. I feel pretty amazing in my new skin!

hello!

Guess who's baackk!!! Yep, yep, me! :D

Woah, it's been almost a year since I posted something on here! To be honest, this year's been umm... I don't even know how to describe it. Many things have changed, including me. It was the worst and the best year at the same time. I know it sounds weird but it was how it was. I'm not gonna write about all that stuff because no one reads it.

I decided to come back just because I have a lot to say and want to run a blog, so why not? I guess I'll get no feedback but I do it only for my own pleasure. ;)

xoxo, Carl

in the darkness

in this post i just wanna thank everyone for being with me in ups and downs, for making me laugh or cry, for support. i thank the most:

Agg & Magdalina - you're always with me when i need you the most. i can count on you like on nobody else. i know you support me no matter what.

Ela, Myśka, Madzia - you always make me smile when i see you tweeted, sent a message. the talk about everything & nothing makes me feel much better.

Chrizzy - you're my sis you know it.

Sid&Ryan - you make me laugh even i dont want to. cant wait to hang out together!

Aisha, LadyMars, Akki, Truscavka - for the talks that make me not think about the reality.

&others(including people from my photoblog) that i cant remember now but you're still in my heart.

thank you for JUST being with me. you make me feel better & your support means really a lot to me. i dont even wanna think what would be without you in my life. you're my angels in the darkness. hope you know im also with you no matter what and you always can count on me even we all are apart and far away.

think twice before...

i just thought about some advices for girls who want to share their 'erotic' or naked(call it however you want^^) pics with some guys. for sure, dont do it if you just wanna make him fall into you. it aint work, believe me. the guy should love you just for the way you are; the body is just a cover. lets type some advices.

firstly, you have to be sure you really wanna do it. when you send it to that 'awesome' guy then everyone can see it. i can bet he send it to his close friends and not only(if he's mean or a jerk). so be pretty sure, you wanna do it :)
if you're 100% sure then just prepare yourself. if you wanna be naked in the pics wash yourself at first lol. if you're gonna pose in underwear be sure that IT'S CLEAN NOT DIRTY! the guy would be definitely disguised! and you dont wanna it, do you?

secondly, if you and your underwear are clean its time to think about the background. dont do it in the bathroom; its not really good idea to see some disgusting stuff there. yes, guys look at details too. sometimes they're more excited about things they've just seen not by your body lol.

if you look stunning & the background its also cool its time to take some pics! yahoo! finally, right? dont take too many. its hard to choose the best; especially if you're very photogenic woman :)

the last step: be more than 100% sure you really wanna do it. i dont want any girl to hurt just because of some jerk who doesnt know that he should keep it to himself only; or because the girl hasnt think it over and regrets it now.

phew! i hope i havent offended anyone and if, im sorry; i didnt mean it :) ive written it just for fun. however, i hope you're gonna take my advices seriously if you're a girl of course lol


xoxo, Carlitos

ps. 30 Seconds To Mars are coming to Poland! i cant believe it! ive heard they're not allowed to come here, but now... im so excited! biiig thanks to LadyMars from twitter! cant wait to see you all at the concert and just rock the stage haha! love ya!